Tales of a Valerian Warrior
by Master-Sephiroth
Summary: Valeria is in peril once more and a warrior by the name of Little Meister takes up her sword and shield to fight those who would dare ruin everything. Contains fighting, adventuring and the occasional jibe.
1. Chapter 1

"Hissssss! Newbies are my favourite snack!"

The voice of Cronus, the World Hydra boomed out across the desolate plain in some far-off corner of Valeria. Ten warriors were busy constructing a catapult to fire whilst around twenty others tried to fend it off with sword swings and magic bolts. Most of the attacks missed and the Hydra roared with laughter.

Or at least, that's how it sounded to me. I'd only heard the name once from a tavern I'd passed by and apparently, this particular beast was one of the worst. It was humongous and if all its heads were stretched up, it'd measure about ten of me. Maybe fifteen.

Clutching my sword and shield, I steeled myself in preparation. I had the stamina to deal some serious damage to this son of a mommy hydra. Before I could charge, I felt a gloved hand on my shoulder. I turned to meet the eyes of one of the generals I'd hired, Zarevok.

"Not yet. The others have nearly finished the catapult." He was serious, but the Hydra kept swinging its heads like morning stars, trying to smash it to pieces. I appreciated the advice but if the thing was damaged, they'd never fire it.

From beneath my helmet, I frowned. "Listen, I know you're a tactician against this sort of thing but can't you see that if the catapult gets destroyed-"

Zarevok cut me short. "I know, but at your level, the Hydra would kill you with one blow."

Level? Since when had he ever used that term? Shaking my head quickly, I stood tall, shaking out my arms and tightening my grip on my blade. "I'll be ready." Rational thought aside for now, I ran as fast as the weight of my armour would allow, leaping upwards and striking at one of the Hydra's necks. It roared out in what I thought was pain and I could already see its blood dribbling from the wound.

From the corner of my eye I could see that the catapult was ready to fire. Quickly rolling to the side, the warriors activated it, sending a stream of rocks in Cronus' direction. The smaller ones bounced off its thick hide while the largest rock smacked into one of the heads, knocking it out. I was about to prepare for my next attack when Zarevok approached me again.

"Good work so far, Meister. Now... you want to aim for one of the monster's heads. Cronus' weak spots are the vertebrae where the necks join to the heads. If your blade hits it at just the right angle, you'll sever the head clean off."

I nodded, rising up from the ground and readying my blade. Not a second later I was charging towards the beast, my blade raised but before I could get close, one of its heads swung at me. In a vain attempt to protect myself I raised my shield over my head, but I would have been better off protecting myself with an unrolled scroll. The Hydra head smashed into my shield, denting it and knocking me to the ground with a force that seemed impossible. My head smacked against the ground and I suddenly felt nauseous. Blackness was closing in all around until it eventually claimed me.


	2. Chapter 2

My head felt like it was in another place entirely. I'd woken up with a killer headache and as I pulled the covers back, I noticed there were bandages around my chest. Cronus must have hit me harder than I thought.

"Don't move." It was like the owner of the voice knew I was about to get out of bed. "Your wounds are still severe." As my eyes adjusted to the light I could make out the familiar form of Sophia, the last of the Fey. She had a look of concern in her eyes. "It was lucky you had all that armour on or else you would have been dead. Not many under level 150 can survive something like that."

"Level 150?" Damnit. Now I realised what Zarevok meant when he was talking about levels before Cronus bashed my head in.

"Anyway..." Sophia examined my bandages and sponged my face down with cool water. "It might be best to stay in the Land of Fire for the moment, at least until you're more fully recovered." As much as I didn't like the idea, she was right. If I tried to exert myself too much, I'd end up worse off. She helped me to my feet so that I could take a quick shower before pulling on some light clothes and going to the little place where I called home, a little house that I normally used as a storehouse for my equipment.

Outside, I noticed that Strider had his cloak pulled completely over him as if he were trying to conceal something. I thought he'd given up the cloak and dagger stuff though, or so Sophia had told me when we first met. I tapped his shoulder but he didn't respond. Subtlety out the window then. I pulled back the hood of his cloak.

"STRIDER!"

The former assassin nearly jumped out of his cloak, the concealed item falling to the ground with a thud. He was hiding a book. I slowly bent over and picked it up, wincing as the action pulled at injured muscles. "You don't have to hide a book."

Strider glared daggers at me. "How hard did you hit your head, Meister?" He tried to snatch the book back but I was just fast enough to keep it out of his reach. I'd learned that trick from him in the first place. Call it payback. "... Anyway, I was JUST up to the bit where Malekus shows Corvintheus how fast he can thrust his sword."

"Wait an Ambrosia-damned minute..." I looked at the cover of the book, titled '50 Shades of Demi Points', emblazoned with what looked like a picture of Malekus striking Corvintheus down. Who writes this stuff anyway? Just because so few Valerians care about defense doesn't mean- then I turned the book around and read the back. Oh. _Oh_. That was probably why Strider was hiding it. "Something about Malekus showing Corvintheus... what?" I handed the book to Strider, who flicked to the right page.

"Read that." He pointed to the second paragraph on page 130 and I started to read. Malekus was taking Corvintheus' armour off and then they were admiring each other's bodies and THEN... then I wished that some smart person in Valeria had invented eye bleach. This made me wonder why in Valeria the demigods hadn't smited the author of this book. I honestly doubted Malekus would be doing those sorts of things to Corvintheus. Shaking my head, I handed the book back.

"How can you read something that disrespects the demi-powers of Valeria, Strider?" Good job I was injured or I would have bashed him over the head for that.

"It's a popular book and practically everyone's reading it."

"Except me." If there was drivel like that, what next? Were they going to have Ambrosia and Azeron up to no good? Or all five of them in a Malekus-damned rumpy-pumpy session that would be more like 50 Shades of Very Screwed Up Demi Powers Constantly Screwing Each Other? Please, for the demi-powers' sake, don't.

A loud fanfare broke me out of that horrible reverie and when I turned to look, it looked like someone new had turned up...


End file.
